You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
3 2 1 whiskey
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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