She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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