one two three fourrrrnication!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
