And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
