There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
