Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
sex in a hospital.. check
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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