Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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