thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize