Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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