I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
