Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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