No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
