we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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