OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
