I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
