Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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