Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
