I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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