my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
