dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
