big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
