I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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