I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
