I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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