I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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