I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
