meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
