So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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