As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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