She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
