She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
