it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
