Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
