Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
