Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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