Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
