I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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