i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
