she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
