There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My dick has a subreddit
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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