hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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