a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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