it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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