hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My first STD was from a foam party
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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