Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
