Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
