time to smoke my breakfast
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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