Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
