I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
