I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
