I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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