I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
