I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
